


the mechanic's guide to getting over jake english.

by onlyeli



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Moving On, but not really lol, i do not know what to call this honestly, post breakup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-18 07:40:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20635535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onlyeli/pseuds/onlyeli
Summary: (found scrawled over two tacky and greying post-it notes that have long since lost their stick.)or, the one where dirk might have written this, but probably not.





	the mechanic's guide to getting over jake english.

\- tell yourself that you are over jake english.

\- tell roxy that you are over jake english.

\- do not, under any circumstances, tell jake english that you are over jake english. telling someone you’re getting over that you’re over them so often seems to have the opposite effect. besides, saying it aloud might close a few doors you’re not ready to see shut.

\- lie awake and try and find him in the gaps between your teeth. your tongue will tire before your mind will. you’ve long since stopped tasting him, but it’ll be a while before you stop seeking him out. you will do this for two straight nights. that’s fine. on the third, you’ll be so exhausted that you won’t even have the time to remember your mouth, let alone his.

\- when you dream, visit derse.

\- y'know what? fuck it. visit derse when you’re awake. stop bothering about your awake self and put more stock in dreams. a kingdom needs a prince, anyway.

\- remember irony.

\- find it ironic that the prince of heart doesn’t have one.

\- stop thinking that before someone catches you. seriously? how self aggrandising can you be? you’re exhausting.

\- why does everything always have to be about you? your heart, your problems, your upset?

\- beat yourself up a little. convince yourself that black and blue suit you better than green ever did.

\- build something.

\- build anything.

\- build something you can’t finish. keeping your hands busy is imperative, yes, but the real danger is your mind. you fall so quickly into autopilot around machinery that the element of impossibility is vital - you will try to finish it anyway and get angry with yourself when you can’t. throwing up your hands at problems you create is a trait of yours. know this.

\- think about how he calls everyone “my boy”. do not think about ownership, about belonging.

\- read. for the love of god, read something.

\- write.

\- chronicle something. leave out the parts that you hate.

\- read it back without seeing your own name once.

\- don’t let the auto responder answer any of your messages.

\- talk to dave.

\- talk to roxy. please.

\- seriously, don’t let the auto responder answer any of your messages. reply to roxy, you asshole.

\- don’t look for him in crowded rooms. ah, you almost forgot this was about him, didn’t you? almost made it all about you again, didn’t you?

\- make friends with yourself. no, seriously. this self-pitying shtick can only go on for so long.

\- you will fall in love with him all over again a few times. that’s fine. that’s why you wrote this stupid fucking guide.

\- you will read that last point back and be freaked the fuck out by the word “love”. that’s fine.

\- you will read that last point back and wonder where along the line you stopped being able to say his name. try it now. out loud.

\- if your throat is dry, you still aren’t ready. build something else.

\- there. are you prepared, now?

\- talk to roxy. hell, even talk to jane. talk to jake, but never for longer than necessary.

\- remember how easy it is to be friends with him. draw the line in the sand and commit it to memory.

\- tell yourself that you’re over jake english again. if you’ve done it, sorted all the cogs and wires so they turn and spark just right, you’ll feel less like you’re lying and more like you’re making a promise. you will feel like you built the impossible thing.

\- tell yourself you’re over jake english as if it’s true, but don’t forget to make it true, this time.

\- that’s the most important part. the work part. the belief part. the part where you try.

\- for fuck's sake, dirk, try.

**Author's Note:**

> this is waaaaaay too poem-y to be something dirk wrote in-universe but who's taking note of that?? certainly not me!! anyways anyone else love uuhhh dirk? ty for reading, and feedback is appreciated!!


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